Twenty-Seven and Counting

                                                                   March 10, 1990

                                                                       Today

     My lovely wife, Kimberly, and I were married on March 10, 1990 at the Current River Baptist Church in Doniphan, Mo. Today, we have two amazing adult daughters, two outstanding son-in-laws, and a grandson who, in all likelihood, is the greatest human ever born. I'm very proud of my family and I love to talk about them. However, this is about Kimberly, me, and our journey; thus far.
   
     From the outset, let me say I'll not be critical of people who are or have been divorced. Things happen. Your path has taken you where you are and it isn't for me to judge. Sometimes it is the only logical choice and we know so many people who found happily ever after, after a failed marriage. Now, on with it.

     At the risk of going straight to cliche; life and relationships really are like a symphony. Some movements are warm and bright, some are dark and daunting, and there are periods of transition where the listener could probably justify moving on to another composition. Our marriage has been no different. There have been long periods of inseparable closeness, like the one we are currently enjoying. There have been other times when our relationship has been threatened by outside forces and internal turmoil. We both have a myriad of interests, but there have been times that I have become overly-consumed with mine. I never lost sight of being the best provider I could be, but there were times my hobbies became obsessions and I wasn't as emotionally available as I should be. Softball season ran into basketball season, then there was golf, racquetball, you name it. I attacked it all like it was going to make me rich. Looking back, I feel pretty silly. Of course, music has been a constant, but Kimberly has always been my biggest fan. She has sat through literally hundreds of hours of listening to me write and practice. More times than I can count, she has gotten up on her day off to make me breakfast when I was on short sleep because of a gig the night before. I'm very fortunate.

     One thing we have consistently done well together was parenting. I fully understand when I hear people say they stayed together for their kids. I also understand when people say they were relieved when their parents finally divorced. However, we walked that minefield with very few fundamental disagreements on how the children should be raised. We're pretty sure it worked out. Our kids are professionals, ahead of the curve in career development, and well-respected in their fields.

     We've also done very well in mitigating the unavoidable heartaches that comes with life. In 1995, I had just separated from the Navy when we learned that Kimberly's mother, Carol, was diagnosed with cancer. Over the next 5 years, we were by her side. We helped her and Kim's stepdad, Wyman, with the farm, household affairs, and whatever the case may be. We were by her side in the wee hours of February 21, 2001, when she passed. There have been other examples, but that one will always remind me of the true fiber of our love.

    Finally, we've had our share of comebacks. We've never gone so far as to seek legal counsel, but we have looked divorce in the eye. The occasions haven't been many, but they shook us to the core. I would be remiss if I didn't accept the bulk of the responsibility for those occasions. I can't imagine being sentenced to a life of living with the likes of me. I'm trying on my best day. Our secret is in the math. We prove that our good times thoroughly outnumber the bad. Our life-affirming experiences are more numerous than our trials. The numerical superiority of the status quo is undeniable.

     That's us. As we look forward to Kimberly's summer break, when we get to spend more time together, having awesome adventures, we'll continue to move forward, but never fail to look back upon the last 27 years. We were just kids when we got married. Between true love, determination, and a desire to make a life together, we're on our way to forever. Love you, baby.