Submission Holds
Darin
Stevens
On
June 10, 1998, during meetings in Salt Lake City, the Southern Baptist
Convention declared that women should submit to their husbands. The declaration
stated, "A wife is to submit graciously to the servant leadership of her
husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ (Stammer,
1998) .” The statement drew praise from conservative
factions of the membership, but many criticized it as inapplicable in modern
society. I tend to side with the latter, but I think the concept is sometimes
misinterpreted when the reader fails to read the whole statement. The last part
of the passage, which appears in 1 Peter, chapter 3, verse 7, “You husbands
likewise, live with [your wives] in an understanding way, as with a weaker
vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace
of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” I have a little trouble
going along with the term “weaker vessel”, but otherwise it makes a very good
point. The passage states that husbands are instructed, by God, to respect
their wives as a fellow heir. Failure to do so will prove a spiritual hindrance
and affect the husband’s relationship with God.
My sister and I
grew up in a Southern Baptist household and our parents subscribed to this
theory, many years before it became an official edict of the church. Our father
was, very clearly, the leader of our family and my mother deferred to him in
all matters, but there is another side to the story. Our father adores our
mother and her well-being and giving her honor has been an integral part of
their relationship since March 12, 1965. He has always treated our mother with
the utmost respect. There was more in play here than adhering to a biblical
principal. By honoring and respecting our mother, he provided an example to my
sister and I. I learned how to be a husband and father; she developed a
standard by which chose her husband.
In some ways, my
relationship with my wife is very similar to my mother’s relationship with my
father. Kimberly has always looked to me as the leader of our family, but we
seek mutual counsel in every important decision. However, if she were
completely submissive, I would lose out on the benefit of her strength, cunning
and wisdom. I value all of these qualities and she has them in abundance.
Just as my father
did for my sister and me, we have very good indication that the example we
provided has resonated in our children. The relationships they have with the
young men they chose to marry have very direct parallels to the relationship
their mother and I have cherished for a very long time.
In today’s
society, we are told it is proper to be accepting and tolerant of people and
their lifestyle choices. In most circles, we have concluded that adults are
capable of reaching their own conclusions and rightly so. If like-minded people
choose to base their relationship on the concept set forth by the Southern
Baptist Convention, based on their interpretation of scripture they hold
sacred; God bless. Providing the parties involved are doing so of their own
will; society needs to accept that relationship as they would any other. To do
otherwise is simply hypocritical.
Works Cited
(n.d.). Bible.
Stammer, L. B. (1998, June 10). A Wife's Role Is
'to Submit,' Baptists Declare. Retrieved from L A Times:
http://articles.latimes.com/1998/jun/10/news/mn-58510
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