Monday, February 27, 2017

Submission Holds - Gender Roles in Marriage

Submission Holds
Darin Stevens
                On June 10, 1998, during meetings in Salt Lake City, the Southern Baptist Convention declared that women should submit to their husbands. The declaration stated, "A wife is to submit graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ (Stammer, 1998).”  The statement drew praise from conservative factions of the membership, but many criticized it as inapplicable in modern society. I tend to side with the latter, but I think the concept is sometimes misinterpreted when the reader fails to read the whole statement. The last part of the passage, which appears in 1 Peter, chapter 3, verse 7, “You husbands likewise, live with [your wives] in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” I have a little trouble going along with the term “weaker vessel”, but otherwise it makes a very good point. The passage states that husbands are instructed, by God, to respect their wives as a fellow heir. Failure to do so will prove a spiritual hindrance and affect the husband’s relationship with God.
My sister and I grew up in a Southern Baptist household and our parents subscribed to this theory, many years before it became an official edict of the church. Our father was, very clearly, the leader of our family and my mother deferred to him in all matters, but there is another side to the story. Our father adores our mother and her well-being and giving her honor has been an integral part of their relationship since March 12, 1965. He has always treated our mother with the utmost respect. There was more in play here than adhering to a biblical principal. By honoring and respecting our mother, he provided an example to my sister and I. I learned how to be a husband and father; she developed a standard by which chose her husband.
In some ways, my relationship with my wife is very similar to my mother’s relationship with my father. Kimberly has always looked to me as the leader of our family, but we seek mutual counsel in every important decision. However, if she were completely submissive, I would lose out on the benefit of her strength, cunning and wisdom. I value all of these qualities and she has them in abundance.
Just as my father did for my sister and me, we have very good indication that the example we provided has resonated in our children. The relationships they have with the young men they chose to marry have very direct parallels to the relationship their mother and I have cherished for a very long time.
In today’s society, we are told it is proper to be accepting and tolerant of people and their lifestyle choices. In most circles, we have concluded that adults are capable of reaching their own conclusions and rightly so. If like-minded people choose to base their relationship on the concept set forth by the Southern Baptist Convention, based on their interpretation of scripture they hold sacred; God bless. Providing the parties involved are doing so of their own will; society needs to accept that relationship as they would any other. To do otherwise is simply hypocritical.

Works Cited

(n.d.). Bible.
Stammer, L. B. (1998, June 10). A Wife's Role Is 'to Submit,' Baptists Declare. Retrieved from L A Times: http://articles.latimes.com/1998/jun/10/news/mn-58510



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